May 22nd 2014
Today I decided to start the Phentermine pill after doing a little bit more research online about it. According to some of the users who made comments about it on WebMD, some side effects users mentioned include:
- Insomnia
- jitteriness
- complete loss of appetite (duh?)
- anxiety
- racing heart
- dry mouth
- and hair loss...? (according to one out of like 1,000 so I'm not worried about that)
So, weighing out the side effects against a potential 30 pounds being dropped, I decided that those weren't so bad and decided it was worth a shot. So after eating a green apple, I downed pill numero uno and waited for something to happen.
Well it did! Less than half an hour later I started to get all jumpy and fidgety. Perhaps a little bit anxious too? I wanted to get out and do stuff--like climb Everest or run into a burning building and save all the babies, or something. It was definitely a weird feeling.
But unfortunately, all that energy didn't go into running that day. For some reason, I sat down for like 12 hour straight and started working on my latests book. Apparently good side effects exist too? Phentermine makes you crazy motivated and focused, which I guess is helpful when it comes to motivating you to get off your ass and go running. But that day my focus decided to go elsewhere. I mean, I got a TON written. So hooray for that, but thats not at all what this is about.
THIS IS LOSEALLTHEWEIGHT-PALOOZA! YAHHHH!
So, that will not do tomorrow, homies.
BUT I did do pretty good in the way of diet today. The phentermine is really effective in the means of controlling how much I want to eat and how often I feel hungry. I hardly even noticed that I haven't eaten anything since the apple at breakfast like ten hours before until I suddenly got super hungry at the restaurant we went to after my kid sisters graduating senior thingy.
So we were at your basic family greek restaurant--the kind with coney dogs and 10 different types of gyros made from something fried and something that might be lamb. Basically, I just walked into a recovering fattie's nightmare/paradise.
It's like taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar, everything about it just gets super uncomfortable. The walls start to close in, the perpetual drone of You're The One That I Want or some other insufferable late 1970s soundtrack over the speakers becoming muddled and distorted, and the yelling of the Romanian owner to his staff growing distant...suddenly its just me and the menu.
I look at everything listed and think about how good it all sounds, but sit there yelling at myself internally that there is too much fat in this, too much sugar in that, all kinds of starch in those...it just really sucks that all this amazing food exists and its awful for you. Who ever invented the modern day American french fry is a real asshole. You can't make something taste that good and have it give you a heart attack. That just doesn't seem fair.
Who is in charge of what is okay to eat and what isn't okay to eat? Basically everyone in the United States, obese or not, is eating themselves to death with all the shit they sell. Even half of the stuff that claims to be "all natural" or "organic" isn't. We'd use a stick of plutonium as butter if the FDA told us it was okay.
I had a friend who studied abroad in France for a year and came back at least 40 pounds thinner than when she left because of a combination of their stricter food regulations and necessity to walk everywhere. So to all you France haters out there who think they are a bunch of pussies, watch out because if your fat ass is trying to out run one they'll kick your tushie in.
Anyway, back to the restaurant and all the pseudo-Greek food. There was almost nothing there that wasn't going to set me back a few billion calories. Eventually I discover the pidily little list of "healthy choices" on the back bottom corner of the menu. Basically all that included was a little dish of grapes, melon, and cottage cheese; dry toast, a bed of iceberg lettuce with raw tomatoes and carrots; and like some stupid cubes of plain tofu.
I don't know about anyone else, but I don't even think hardcore health nuts find that good and/or nutritious...
The waitress finally comes back and I panic and order a veggie burger. Aiight. That works. Those don't taste totally bland or cardboardy. In fact, I've always preferred veggie burgers to regular hamburgers. So I fared rather well for my first time eating at a restaurant during the challenge--the total food score of the day coming out to two apples, a small bowl of coleslaw, a veggie burger with tomatoes and lettuce, and lots of water. Hey, look! A vegetarian day! Coolness. Kind of a bland food day, though. It might be nice to find a few tastier options for the future.
So my grade for today?
exercise: D
diet: B+
May 23rd 2014
Holy cow! They weren't kidding when they say that Phentermine causes insomnia! I couldn't fall asleep until like 5:30 in the morning. Yuck. But of course, with the whole motivation side effect, I wrote a bunch more to my novel....so thats a plus i suppose? I also came up with this blog, too!
DO ALL OF THE THINGS AT 4 AM!!!!
So with an hour of sleep under my belt, I work up at 6:30 in the morning and wiggled into my yoga capris that i bought four years ago and only wore to sleep in and paint in. After taking the daily Phentermine and green apple, I hit the pavement promptly at 7:00.
I thought that I would totally hate running so early in the morning, but I ended up liking it more than running later in the day. It was still a little chilly out so I was allowed to cover my big ol' jiggly arms with my fleece which I was happy about. Hardly anybody was out driving or walking and hogging the sidewalk with their wide ass baby strollers, leaving the world vacant just for me.
It was nice and comfortable beneath the shade of the trees along the residential streets, a person or two sitting on their porches with their morning cup of joe and waving hello. In the morning there are two kinds of people: you got your early bird old people with coffee and porches, and then you have the joggers--both hardcore runners and amateur beginners like me. And they were all over the place in ages too! I exchanged a friendly hello with an older man with a long, white, gnarly beard in a grey sweatsuit. I spotted a 30-something man and his St. Bernard. I briefly ran parallel with a woman about my age with her dog for a couple of blocks, looking almost as big as me, too. That comforted me a ton. Up until then I just felt like some fattie impostor disrupting the rhythm of the hardcore fellas. But, whatever, this is my sidewalk now, skinny bitches. You can have it when I'm done.
After I got home, I felt awesome. Exhausted and sweating like a hog in july, but awesome. I was alive, and awake, and alert and ready to conquer the world. Usually when I have to wake up that early there is no way in hell that I'm not a cranky, tired, hot mess. Like, I'm 20 years old--I will sleep until like two in the afternoon sometimes if you let me. I got friends who can make it all the way until four when they're hungover. Ten bucks says a month ago today I didn't even get home from partying until like 6 in the morning.
So with the extra amount of awesomeness I obtained, I got to work on the blog....you know the rest. I got home and made my goals list with challenges and deadlines, finally making a plan. All the other times I tried to work out I never gave myself a plan. I was too soft on myself when I should be treating myself like the beefcake trainer I had four years ago. While I wasn't too crazy about the yelling in my face part, I did like that he forced me to keep going even when I was tired and ready to quit. I really needed to let my inner trainer out for this to actually work. Of course, I'm not mean about it. I know when to stop. I know the difference between good hurt and bad hurt--ya know, got my Christian Grey safe word all ready to go. I know that I can't have complete control over my life and the things I do. I wont police myself every second of the day. Shit, if I had to listen to that trainer 24 hours a day I would've jumped off a cliff. Like at a normal gym, Trainer Whale sticks to the regular training hours and occasionally clears her throat when I come face to face with food choices.
Again, I almost forgot to eat until my dad reminded me to. This Phentermine ain't no joke, man!
(As a side note, readers: don't be a dumbass and take Phentermine to not eat at all--lets not become some anorexic bitches because there ain't nothing cute about that....)
So I made myself this fancy smanchy french thing called La Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Oui Oui. Then to make it extra classy, I ate this awesome squishy plum over the sink 'cause everyone seems to get their panties in a twist if any juice gets on the floor.
And then a few hours later we picked up some pre-made home cooked food from the local market. Roasted and seasons chicken kabob, roasted and season potato wedges, and a slightly creamy steamed broccoli salad. Holy cow did that taste good. And it felt like it was good for me too! I mean, I know some health nuts are shaking their heads at me, but at least nothing was fried, covered in salt or sugar, or overloaded with fat. Thats pretty good in my book. So I will gladly award myself with
diet: B+
exercise: B+
Success!
~The Great White Whale
Holy cow! They weren't kidding when they say that Phentermine causes insomnia! I couldn't fall asleep until like 5:30 in the morning. Yuck. But of course, with the whole motivation side effect, I wrote a bunch more to my novel....so thats a plus i suppose? I also came up with this blog, too!
DO ALL OF THE THINGS AT 4 AM!!!!
So with an hour of sleep under my belt, I work up at 6:30 in the morning and wiggled into my yoga capris that i bought four years ago and only wore to sleep in and paint in. After taking the daily Phentermine and green apple, I hit the pavement promptly at 7:00.
I thought that I would totally hate running so early in the morning, but I ended up liking it more than running later in the day. It was still a little chilly out so I was allowed to cover my big ol' jiggly arms with my fleece which I was happy about. Hardly anybody was out driving or walking and hogging the sidewalk with their wide ass baby strollers, leaving the world vacant just for me.
It was nice and comfortable beneath the shade of the trees along the residential streets, a person or two sitting on their porches with their morning cup of joe and waving hello. In the morning there are two kinds of people: you got your early bird old people with coffee and porches, and then you have the joggers--both hardcore runners and amateur beginners like me. And they were all over the place in ages too! I exchanged a friendly hello with an older man with a long, white, gnarly beard in a grey sweatsuit. I spotted a 30-something man and his St. Bernard. I briefly ran parallel with a woman about my age with her dog for a couple of blocks, looking almost as big as me, too. That comforted me a ton. Up until then I just felt like some fattie impostor disrupting the rhythm of the hardcore fellas. But, whatever, this is my sidewalk now, skinny bitches. You can have it when I'm done.
After I got home, I felt awesome. Exhausted and sweating like a hog in july, but awesome. I was alive, and awake, and alert and ready to conquer the world. Usually when I have to wake up that early there is no way in hell that I'm not a cranky, tired, hot mess. Like, I'm 20 years old--I will sleep until like two in the afternoon sometimes if you let me. I got friends who can make it all the way until four when they're hungover. Ten bucks says a month ago today I didn't even get home from partying until like 6 in the morning.
So with the extra amount of awesomeness I obtained, I got to work on the blog....you know the rest. I got home and made my goals list with challenges and deadlines, finally making a plan. All the other times I tried to work out I never gave myself a plan. I was too soft on myself when I should be treating myself like the beefcake trainer I had four years ago. While I wasn't too crazy about the yelling in my face part, I did like that he forced me to keep going even when I was tired and ready to quit. I really needed to let my inner trainer out for this to actually work. Of course, I'm not mean about it. I know when to stop. I know the difference between good hurt and bad hurt--ya know, got my Christian Grey safe word all ready to go. I know that I can't have complete control over my life and the things I do. I wont police myself every second of the day. Shit, if I had to listen to that trainer 24 hours a day I would've jumped off a cliff. Like at a normal gym, Trainer Whale sticks to the regular training hours and occasionally clears her throat when I come face to face with food choices.
Again, I almost forgot to eat until my dad reminded me to. This Phentermine ain't no joke, man!
(As a side note, readers: don't be a dumbass and take Phentermine to not eat at all--lets not become some anorexic bitches because there ain't nothing cute about that....)
So I made myself this fancy smanchy french thing called La Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Oui Oui. Then to make it extra classy, I ate this awesome squishy plum over the sink 'cause everyone seems to get their panties in a twist if any juice gets on the floor.
And then a few hours later we picked up some pre-made home cooked food from the local market. Roasted and seasons chicken kabob, roasted and season potato wedges, and a slightly creamy steamed broccoli salad. Holy cow did that taste good. And it felt like it was good for me too! I mean, I know some health nuts are shaking their heads at me, but at least nothing was fried, covered in salt or sugar, or overloaded with fat. Thats pretty good in my book. So I will gladly award myself with
diet: B+
exercise: B+
Success!
~The Great White Whale
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