Whales with college food plans

College food plans are a damn mess. I hate them so much. All it is is crap covered in salt and then a dessert bar and then maybe some sad droopy fruit that makes your grandpa's balls look like Zeus.  And then after you eat it, you expedite your ass to the nearest restroom. So, about 70% of the time, trying to eat healthy on campus is a bust. However, I have discovered a few things….

• Drinks: Of course, water is always an option. Drink that and you are a golden goddess. But sometimes, you just don't want fucking water. Apparently, according to my school dining website, the milk is all local…so tally ho, chug chug chocolate milk. (also, i drink a lot of gatorade because the electrolytes helps with epileptic jerks, fun fact) 
• Steer away from the desserts!!!!! Away, beasties!!! hissssss boooooo! Luckily, they're on the other side of the cafeteria and if I avert my eyes, I can't even see them. Huzzah. 
• The bastards took away the granola so all thats left is lucky charms, chocolate rice krispies, and plain special K…gross. So i just eat an egg, toast, and a lot of grapes (if they aren't saggy and moldy) And, by god, leave the hash brows alone, woman….they are delicious, salty death (think McDonalds uuughhhh so goooddd) 
• Whenever they have quinoa, you eat that shit like there is no manana. Good and good for you. 
• There are so many vegan and vegetarian options its insane. I have been vegan--and vegan easily--for at least a week because of them. ChickenLESS nuggets? They are a thing and they are good. 

So, eating on campus IS possible, but very hard for us whales. Gonna keep trying and chugging along with this.