Whales wanna be naked!

For being on the bigger side for most of my life, I have always thought that I wouldn't let it get in the way of dressing the way I wanted to. Even being as big as I have been, I never let the "fat girl mantra" get to me while I was shopping…or at least tried to ignore the voice in my head that said "you're too fat to wear that". And it has always helped--I frequently get complimented on how I dress and it makes me even happier when people who are big like me call me inspirational and daring with my clothing choices. I don't cover up my body with tents. I love tight body con dresses and I feel totally sexy when I put on clothes that I like…but at the end of the day the clothes have to come off and then I have to see what I look like in the buff and its not always something that I like seeing.
It gets even weirder when other people have to see me that way--going to the doctors, doing the "I'm almost kind of naked" tango with my clothes in the locker room at the gym so nobody actually sees me, and the forever dreaded hookup hotties…that one is kind of the worst.
I sort of feel like Im lying to guys when I wear cute clothes that make me feel awesome that projects onto my face. They say everything about me--I'm fun, quirky, and a little bit sexy. But the second things start coming off its like BAM! Jabba the Hut is in taaaowwnn! Where did all my personality go? Then I start to feel like all that I have to convey who I am is rolls of dimpled, pale, chub with stretch marks. And that is definitely not who I am at all. It's really hard to feel beautiful naked when you're 190 pounds when people of both sexes expect a firm non-dimply bubble butt, as few wiggles as possible, and an overall thin, fit figure.
 Dating is a little bit different. People have a wide array of preferences of both the physical and personal. But when you have to see them naked and touch them naked, it kind of changes. You hope that he looks and acts like Seth Rogen most of the time, but then when he gets naked he suddenly has a likeness to Zac Effron, or something like that. Well, I don't mind being me on the outside, but I kinda wish I looked liked (insert hottie celeb here) when I was naked.
And you hope to god they don't think you are crushing them when you crawl on top of them.
Its such an odd, personal thing when you expose yourself to another person and its on my list of goals: look and feel good naked.
Even if I don't ever meet that high expectation of banging porn star body, I would love to not make a face when my arms start flapping in the wind like a weather vane and be thinking "ahh don't want to kill you. imsorryimsorryimsorry…" the whole time when I could be thinking about wayyy better things.

Whales have accountabil-abuddies

You guys. Hey you guys. Guess what? I lost 18 whole pounds since I last weight myself? The fuck? Whhhatttt? So cool. I mean, granted the last time I got on a scale it was like 100 degrees outside and right now I'm wearing a parka and looking like damn snowman wherever i go, so you can tell its been a while, but hooray! I can't remember the last time that I was under 200lbs. Probably the last time that I lied on my state ID.
Yeah, yeah, some people are still just gonna run by and shake their heads at me because thats still too big but they can go eat a big bowl of shut up. or not. because they don't eat. They can put it in their vitamix and drink it with kale.
But I am on my wayyy!
And the best part is that someone actually noticed! Yeah, totally. My friend who I don't see very often in my building ran into me the other day and actually commented on how thin I've been looking and asked me what I've been doing.
Oh happy day!
Well, dear friend of mine *takes oscar of fitness into my hands* I would like to thank the elliptical at the gym for letting me huff and puff on it for 30-35 minutes 5 or 6 times a weeks, the pool at the gym for letting me try not to drown and do something that might be strokes for an hour every so often, the kind fellow who tolerates me in his tuesday drop in cardio classes, and most of all, my best friend for being my accountabil-abuddy for driving my ass to the gym on the daily and pushing me to do it.

I think thats the trick right there.
You don't need the magic body fat burning pills people pedal on television or some crazy crash diet to lose weight. You need a buddy.

The best kind of buddies are:

• One of you is working towards a goal. A reason you both can get really exited about it. My buddy is getting married so it motivates me to be a support system for her as well. 
• They provide motivation. On the days you really just don't give a damn to get up and do anything they still make you get your fat butt up and do it. At the same time, if they really don't feel like doing it either, you can switch roles and be the motivator and be extra pumped that day. Bad buddies are always lazy and never want to go. Ditch those ones pronto and come work out with us. 
• They have the same schedule as you. Obviously, if your schedules clash way too much and you're struggling to find times to go, then you have a problem. Luckily, my buddy and I work together and just pop on over to the gym right after we're finished for the day. 
• Not a bum, but not a guru. If someone is constantly trying to keep up or constantly having to slow down it can be disheartening for both. My buddy is slightly ahead of me in her skill and i like the challenge but not so far ahead that I am constantly dying trying to pick myself up and keep up and going home crying. Her skill level is attainable. She can do 3 miles in 30 and I can do 2 and a quarter, not a track all star, but doable eventually. 
• They encourage you to eat healthy without all the weird theories and fads. There isn't all that "ooh I hear if you cut up your pizza on a full moon and sing La Cucaracha while wiggling your big toe it won't go to your ass" BS they know whats really up and won't be the bitch who just eats salad and water either. They eat real life good food thats good for you. And *BONUS* my buddy is a vegetarian too! Hot dog! (or hot tofu, if you prefer) And not the "eh ill just eat bread and grapes every meal" vegetarian either. She's the legit kind who eats real life good vegetarian food and actually gives me good tips too.  

So all in all, Ive kidnapped the best buddy in the world. And you, too, can have all this and more by kidnapping the perfect gym buddy!  

The Whale's New School Rules

January-April

Rules 

1. I will do my best to attend the gym at least one a day for a minimum of 30 minutes. In the event that I cannot, I will do my best to do at least 15 minutes of exercise at home. 
2. I will do my best to do a weekly or more reflection of exercise on this blog. 
3. I will do my best to do a weekly or more reflection of eating habits on this blog. 
4. I will do my best to eat three square meals a day, trying to make the healthiest choices I can. 
5. I will also be responsible for my gym partner and making sure she goes with me to the gym. 
6. At the end of April, reevaluate and work on new fitness plan for the spring/summer thru August. 

Goal weight? 

Look good in a lengha for a summer Indian wedding!  

❤ ❤ ❤

The Whale's Flash Challenges

FLASH CHALLENGES

The following list of challenges have no deadline and can be completed as many times as The Whale wants beginning in May. The Whale will add any suggestions given by friends, family, and readers. Each ✭ represents a time completed. 

Whales with college food plans

College food plans are a damn mess. I hate them so much. All it is is crap covered in salt and then a dessert bar and then maybe some sad droopy fruit that makes your grandpa's balls look like Zeus.  And then after you eat it, you expedite your ass to the nearest restroom. So, about 70% of the time, trying to eat healthy on campus is a bust. However, I have discovered a few things….

Whales can, in fact, return from the dead

Ahoy there land lubbers! Miss me? Wonderin' where I've been? Me too…

It has been 168 days since the beginning of this challenge and my last blog update was on June 1st.
Hooooooooooly shit. Blogging is hard. Working out and trying to stay healthy is even harder.

Whales can party hardy

May 30th-June 1st

Aaaaand we're back! I kind of missed a day....or two....oops. My bad.
But it was fun 'cause i got to pass out. Whoooo -_-
Again, I repeat....